TENNIS BOYFRIEND: You deserve love
TENNIS GIRLFRIEND: That’s so mean
Girl are you the burning bush?
Cuz you’re hot. And there’s no conceivable reason you should be talking to me.
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*gets down on 1 knee*
*puts 2nd knee down*
*lays on floor*
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
*slithers out of relationship*
Why are all podcasts “two best friends” I want a podcast that’s Two sworn enemies. Just two bitches that absolutely hate each other
Therapist: Do u ever feel like hurting yourself
T: What about other people
she’s a 10 but excel thinks she’s an October
Everybody please go potty because after we rob this bank we’re not gonna stop again for a while
-currently looking for an adult
-Realizing I’m an adult
-Now looking for an older adult
-Someone successful at adulting
-An adultier adult
The sign at the pool says,
Children Under 12 Require Supervision.
I guess anyone over 12 is allowed in with only normal eyesight.
Me: That was fun! Fist me!
Me: Fist me!! *holds out knuckles*