@PaperWash Why use 2 A’s in the name Aaron? Why not 17? What’s stopping us?
@SvnSxty Glen, the spatula: *giggling* ok ok shhhh watch this
Me: *trying to open the drawer* what the-*ᴄʜᴜɴᴋ* dammit-*ᴄʜᴜɴᴋ*
The other Utensils: *going nuts* GLEN! GLEN! GLEN! GLEN!
You Might Also Like
@PaperWash 
@choniepony These Valtrex commercials are confusing… Are herpes a pre-requisite for kayaking and rock climbing?
@ozzyunc What’s that little “-” in front of the temperature mean?
@Izianikapani Cosmetology school was a real letdown. Anyone wanna buy a spacesuit?
@dakg666 When you unfollow someone it should pop up with a list of other idiots to unfollow
@Tmoney68 [Cannibal Restaurant]
Waiter: Need anything else?
Cannibal: No, I’m stuffed. I can’t even finish this. Could I get a body bag?
@GianDoh Psst. The real reason Ryan Gosling is taking a break from acting was to molt, mature & become Ryan Goose.
@krakkenlackin Critics are raving about Mud. “It’s like dirt but wet” says one. “Oh god it’s in my eyes” says another
@Talk_To_The_Hat Yup….perfect score!
@IamEveryDayPpl Her: I have a funeral to go to but I don’t have a date yet.
Me: Aw, you can’t go alone?
She meant the date of the funeral.
I know that now