Glen, the spatula: *giggling* ok ok shhhh watch this

Me: *trying to open the drawer* what the-*ᴄʜᴜɴᴋ* dammit-*ᴄʜᴜɴᴋ*

The other Utensils: *going nuts* GLEN! GLEN! GLEN! GLEN!

You Might Also Like


Why use 2 A’s in the name Aaron? Why not 17? What’s stopping us?


These Valtrex commercials are confusing… Are herpes a pre-requisite for kayaking and rock climbing?


What’s that little “-” in front of the temperature mean?


Cosmetology school was a real letdown. Anyone wanna buy a spacesuit?


When you unfollow someone it should pop up with a list of other idiots to unfollow


[Cannibal Restaurant]

Waiter: Need anything else?

Cannibal: No, I’m stuffed. I can’t even finish this. Could I get a body bag?


Psst. The real reason Ryan Gosling is taking a break from acting was to molt, mature & become Ryan Goose.


Critics are raving about Mud. “It’s like dirt but wet” says one. “Oh god it’s in my eyes” says another


Her: I have a funeral to go to but I don’t have a date yet.

Me: Aw, you can’t go alone?

She meant the date of the funeral.
I know that now