[God Creating]
Lucifer: Make them wake up paralyzed sometimes
G: That sounds horrible
L: People will love it
G: Hm, I trusted you on spiders

You Might Also Like


Any new zombie movies that want to be believable need to include random people who walk directly up to zombies & get bitten on purpose because they think getting bitten will help them build immunity against being bitten. They also need to mock people trying to avoid being bitten.


I’m beginning to think some of you are not your Avi’s, which makes me sad. I thought I had a unicorn and dinosaur friend.


Tsunamis are caused by dolphins breakdancing to celebrate passing another IQ test.


Yes of course the covid exposure notices are scary, but nothing shakes me to the core like an old fashioned classroom head lice letter.


When I learned what calculators did, I immediately cleared the “math” part of my brain to make room for more movie quotes.


I don’t understand what you mean by ‘stop drinking so much’. How else will you know how much I love you at 2am every day?


They said I couldn’t drink or operate machinery on my medication.

But here I am…Driving a forklift…Sipping a beer…Lifting up my boss’s car…


*drops acid*
*picks up acid*
*drops acid*
*picks up acid*
*drops acid*
*picks up acid*
*drops acid*

*checks for abs, finds a clown


Opened the lint filter on my dryer after washing my dog’s bedding and another dog fell out.