Good mental health at work and good management go hand in hand and there is strong evidence that workplaces with high levels of mental wellbeing are more productive.
📸: @lizandmollie
#positivethoughts #positivemind #positivelife #dailymotivation #keepmovingforward
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This is sending me to another galaxy
An HGTV show where they help new college graduates decorate their apartment with furniture found exclusively on the side of the road
Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.
Protip: When your kid interrupts your next Zoom meeting just say “Oh, thats just the intern”.
i am:
⚪️ a man
⚪️ a woman
🔘 living in the year 2021looking for:
⚪️ men
⚪️ women
🔘 a way out
I’m so thankful for the guy who pressed the crosswalk button 10x after watching me push it.
I bet his will be the winning push that saves the day.
Done with dating sites. I’m now focusing on pizza delivery guys because at least I know they have a job, a car, and pizza.
I’m just saying, if I was a divorce lawyer, I’d locate my firm directly across the street from an Ikea.
Airlines trust I can operate an emergency door and usher hundreds of passengers to safety but think I need step by step instructions on buckling a seatbelt.
If you took your large intestine and stretched it out in a straight line it would be very hard to get it back in you after that. So tangly.
Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.
don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers but okay
Being an adult is like watching a foreign movie with no subtitles in a crowded theater, everyone else knows what’s going on and you just nod
Just heard about a magician in 1990 who tried burying himself alive under six feet of dirt and wet concrete and was completely astonished when he ended up burying himself alive under six feet of dirt and wet concrete.
I’m on the steak diet. You just have four steaks for breakfast, four for lunch, then a sensible dinner of six steaks.
*pandemic ends*
Mother Nature: HOW ARE THEY STILL ALIVE??!!!
I got gas today for $1.39. Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell!!
Me: *stands on one leg*
My flamenco teacher: No.
#Caturday
Once a year I think about how when my brother and I were 10 and my sister was 3 she ran in the living room waving an empty package laughing manically at us she ate ALL the chocolate and left us none. I looked at the pack it said EX LAX.
Then I heard her stomach rumble.
A summer getaway for women that date younger guys in the bathroom & want to learn to carve cantaloupe?
John Cougar Melon Camp
me to my boyfriend: hey hey you you i don’t like your girlfriend
Space could be filled with vampires, but we would never know, because telescopes use mirrors.
I had two naps today but every time I wake up I’m still at work.
I’m never a more ineffective parent than when I accidentally make threats that rhyme.
My dentist has decorated his office with pictures of teeth he has worked on, thank god my gynecologist doesn’t have the same decorator.
If you think you’re stupid, little red riding hood thought a wolf wearing women’s clothing was her grandma.
Wife: Heading up to bed *winks*
[30 min later]
Wife: …where is he?
Me: (laying perfectly still in floral camo that matches the sheets)
“caramelized” is just a word chefs use if they burn things
caramelized onion
caramelized apple
caramelized todd from HR who tried to diss me
Before YouTube, people had to travel to music video shoots to argue about Hitler