@InternetHippo What should we call this portable computer?
SOME GUY: Laptop
[everyone applauds…w/ tears in my eyes i crumple a paper that says Kneeputer]
@AmberTozer Good thing “you only live once” has really caught on otherwise we might all kill ourselves like it’s no big deal
You Might Also Like
@InternetHippo 
@mikeleffingwell I always say “I was wondering when you’d find me” when I get in my car. That way if someone’s ever in the backseat I’ll look cool as shit.
@RackOfSteel I feel like people are in such a hurry these days, that there isn’t enough moseying happening anymore. Dont even get me started on sauntering and lollygagging.
@STRIKINGxVIKING Always be yourself…
Unless you run into one of your exes…
Then… Be a WAY more successful version of yourself…
@ElenaChainHelp1 Me in HR: I wasn’t trying to be condescending… It’s just that the boss didn’t understand and I thought the puppets might make it clearer.
@ThisOneSayz Neighbor: Omg, is that a hickey?
Me, flashing back to burning my neck with a curling iron: Yup, I still got it.
@UncleDuke1969 “The powder |
“The pow|
“The power |
“The power of Cheese |
“The power of Ch|
“The power of Christ compels you!”– The AutocorrExorcist
@Naked_Superman I think that’s enough internet for one day…
@ojedge 🎶 Whoa we’re half way there,
Whoa-oh…
@matthewchampion this… may be the greatest story ever told
