Guess who’s going to finally get their shit together in 2022?

Not me. But God speed, whoever you are.

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The reason that there are so many tweets about cats is that people with dogs go outside.


“Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?“

Lucifer: Are you hitting on me?


I love money. I set it free and it didn’t come back. Relationships are hard.


A sheep walks into a bar. Lots more sheep follow, the barman counts them and falls asleep, the sheep help themselves to free drinks. Genius.