Guy knocking on bathroom door after sex:
I think I love you.Me stringing tampons together, making a rope to climb out the window:
Okay….
You Might Also Like
Me: [hears knock on door] who is it?
Trooper: State Police identify yourself
Me: Police identify yourself
Trooper: State Police
Me: Police
Did you know all your parents’ haggard old friends from your childhood memories were in fact 31 years old
I Saw someone say Florida upside down look like the grinch and after i flipped my Phone i’m mad i can’t unsee it馃槶馃槶馃槶
I like to sit in the hotel hot tub with a bunch of potatoes, peas & carrots. I introduce myself as Stew.
You say tomato. I say tomato. Our eyes meet. We’ve decided on the perfect name for our baby
as a child i thought i’d have to deal with the bermuda triangle a lot more than i have in my adult life
I heard the iPhone 15 won’t have any ports or jacks or a screen and it will just be a smooth steel ball and finally we’ll all be happy.
Ironing boards are just surf boards that stopped pursuing their dreams and got a real job instead.
Be romantic. Send her a dozen of red flags 馃え