@girlfr0g a big congratulations to all the big baseball men for not closing their eyes when the ball was coming towards them, good job men
@TheBoydP Guys, when she complains about something you didn’t do, tell her about the things you did do. That will make everything ok!
You’re welcome!
You Might Also Like
@girlfr0g 
@dreamthievin I get out of awkward dinner party convos by telling people it’s my first outing since the psychiatrist declared me unfit to stand trial
@theevilwriter You seem like the type of person I might give my heart to, but as nervously as I’d be watching a drunk holding a newborn.
@Probgoblin The barista can’t deal with the man’s ‘Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee’ shirt.
Her mouth opens, then closes.
The line grows.
@gregcatarino1 
@wildethingy Don’t you hate it when you march into the depths of hell and then you can’t remember what you went in there for.
@JimmerThatisAll “My middle name is War-and-Peace.”
“What?”
“It’s a long story.”
@Thynebear Yeah, if Albert Einstein is so smart then why is he dead?
@XplodingUnicorn [in someone else’s master bathroom]
5-year-old: They have two sinks.
Me: Yeah.
5: One for each hand.
@tastefactory Most people use photoshop to create amazing art or graphic design. I use it to make fake Doritos flavors.
