HER: Let me know when you get your shit together.
ME: So I guess this is goodbye.
Her résumé lists “attention to detale” under strengths.
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Her: You’re a six, and I’m being generous.
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Just hit a white kid with dreadlocks with my car. He understood why.
“Today I’m just going to wear pajamas all day.” – Hugh Hefner ever morning of his life.