@hollywood_95_69
@Bob_Janke Pulled a power move on the neighborhood dads by shoveling my driveway before it stopped snowing
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@Bob_Janke 
@MatCro “Pete’s coming for dinner tonight.”
“Pete from work or Pete who thinks he can walk through doors?”
[Massive thud]
“I’ll just check.”
@Tmoney68 The biggest lie in advertising is someone taking a bite of a hard shell taco & it not immediately exploding in their hands.
@justatornado Anne Has A Problem
Anne Has A Solution
Anne Has A Will
Anne Hathaway
@SamSkoronski My dog ate my work from home.
@TheAlexNevil “Oh sure. Go down bout a mile, left at the store that’s not there anymore, & past the big tree. Can’t miss it.”
-every gas station attendant
@Tmoney68 I’m sorry, I don’t have the energy to walk a mile in your shoes. I’m just going to go ahead & judge you.
@Grrdno You are not your own worst enemy.
You have many more enemies.
@tealbluejay Calm down penguins. You’re just a flashy suit and a few body parts away from being a platypus.
@brettminor What, tough guy? Come try taking that picture over here, why don’t ya?
