Things that don’t kill bees
1. Furniture polish
Hey dad, the hospital called, patients
are trying to rest, could you please turn
down your television.
You Might Also Like
gas pump: see attendant
me: looks like i no longer need gas
I wanna see some BUTTS on da dance floor! ONLY butts. Detached from their owners, just kinda in a pile. In the middle. Nice. Good butt pile.
“GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL”
“Sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse”
“Oh rad bring it in”
I am much less afraid of jail when I’m drunk.
My lighter has 2 options:
– Dracula darling, you have something stuck in your teeth.
– Vhere, here?
– No, just go look in-
– GO LOOK IN WHAT, SARAH?
My pet name for my manhood, for obvious reasons, is Whitesnake…You know, cuz… “Here I go again on my own”.
Its not a joke, its a rope and I want you to put it around your neck.
Possible Tic-Tac-Toe results:
a.) it’s a tie
b.) you’re an idiot