MTV stopped having their “Unplugged” specials because the shitty artists we have now can’t play any instruments.
“How can I waste ten seconds of someone’s time and make total strangers hate me?”
– Credit card chip inventor
– Me, writing tweets
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Tinder, but it’s an app that you and your wife have for local restaurants, when you both swipe on a match, that’s were you go for dinner.
Day one without power. Already considering which neighbor would taste best.
Still my favourite meme.
I’m sure there’ll be some making distasteful jokes about Williams’ death. How annoying for them that he would have thought of funnier ones.
her: this is weird
me: [dressed as lumiere from beauty and the beast] say “i’ve been burned by you before”
her: [dressed as the feather duster] no
This is the most 2017 thing I’ve ever seen.
At my age, my passwords are protected by amnesia.
I’ve had so much cough medicine and this has me in tears
I thought this was funny lol