@alexjmann
@bodybycheezits No, you hang up first.
Me to Pizza Hut
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@bodybycheezits 
@AdamOfEarth Welcome to Psychic Abilities 101.
Today’s class was just rescheduled for tomorrow. If you’re here now, you failed.
@rachxthompson me: could my thighs get any bigger? *sits down* me: oh look now they’re the size of Australia
@DevilryFun I needed a break from stupidity so I left work early.
@KalvinMacleod I’m so hungry I could eat a hor—
*horse walks by snorting aggressively*
ticulturalist
*horticulturalist pops up trimming hedge aggressively*
@cheeky__gal After decorating the house, I spilled cheap vodka on some glitter and dirt I was sweeping up.
Now, my house looks like Ke$ha.
@LuvPug I’m a bad influence on myself.
@minkpinkustink the holes in my logic are there so it can breathe
@JCWisdomNuggets Next time a dude says “Pictures or it didn’t happen”, punch them in the throat, take a pic, and tell a story about a guy you throat punched.
@LloBrow me: spell “Fanshaw”
British person:
