@mjkspeaks

How did people crash their vehicles before cellphones?

You Might Also Like

@mydmac

(At the dentist)

‘Your grinding isn’t good.’

Excuse me! I’ve never had a man complain before.

@CloydRivers

Why do I “need” an assault rifle? Why did Rosa Parks “need” to sit in the front of the bus? Because Merica, that’s why.

@markydoodoo

Swiss cheese is cheating cheese cause there’s holes where there could be more cheese stay woke.

@BrendaMatusik

You never know how strong you are…until your power steering goes out.

@HatfieldAnne

Marsupials have pouches and the good manners to keep children out of sight.

@

Santa Claus is the omicron superspreader

@BruceForce

Day 1: Brad wears no pants
Day 2: Brad wears no pants
Day 3: Brad wears no pants

This is just a bottomless Pitt

@dadmann_walking

12 called me when he was out last week. i answered and he seriously goes “hi. this is seth. your son”. does he already think i have dementia? or worse..DO I AND I DON’T KNOW IT?

@POTerritory

Strange how FB doesn’t automatically add the enemies of your enemies as your friends,

@huntigula

an owl mistook my man bun for a sleeping hamster again today