How did people crash their vehicles before cellphones?

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(At the dentist)

‘Your grinding isn’t good.’

Excuse me! I’ve never had a man complain before.


Why do I “need” an assault rifle? Why did Rosa Parks “need” to sit in the front of the bus? Because Merica, that’s why.


Swiss cheese is cheating cheese cause there’s holes where there could be more cheese stay woke.


You never know how strong you are…until your power steering goes out.


Marsupials have pouches and the good manners to keep children out of sight.


Santa Claus is the omicron superspreader


Day 1: Brad wears no pants
Day 2: Brad wears no pants
Day 3: Brad wears no pants

This is just a bottomless Pitt


12 called me when he was out last week. i answered and he seriously goes “hi. this is seth. your son”. does he already think i have dementia? or worse..DO I AND I DON’T KNOW IT?


Strange how FB doesn’t automatically add the enemies of your enemies as your friends,


an owl mistook my man bun for a sleeping hamster again today