Manslaughter: I always used to read it as ‘man’s laughter’.
Seems oddly appropriate for someone who’s got away with murder…
How Jesus was named:
Mary: Joseph, I’m having a baby.
Joseph: JESUS CHRIST!
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If you are having anxiety over something you’ve said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like.
Google, Microsoft and Disney are
among suitors for Twitter
Will it be
The Wonderful World of Tweets ?
*stomps feet during a tantrum, reaches fitbit step goal*
A boycott is just a smaller version of a manbed.
Husband: OHHHH, so that’s why you’ve been such a b-
Whenever I see a couple sitting on the same side of a restaurant booth I like to imagine they’re on a double date with ghosts
I’ll bet when two cannibals get trapped in an elevator going to lunch, around the fifth minute, things start getting a little weird.
Call me ignorant, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.
– “That’s exactly what ignorant means.”
I don’t get it.
*girl sits down*
“hi im melan-
QUICK A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE HAPPENS WHAT WEAPON DO YOU USE
CORRECT ANSWER WAS KATANA. NEXT