How much longer until we can get pets that are also wifi hotspots?

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Putting clothes on an animal is like putting on an overcoat over your overcoat.


When you’re shopping with your mom and accidently lose track of her


You know that episode of Friends where Joey tries to speak French? That’s what I hear when watching the State of the Union Address


“YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?” – guy that just got a new kite for his birthday


Friend Who I Haven’t Seen in a While: your kid’s gotten so big! what is he, four?
Me: i have no idea what he’s for