@Bunnydurden
@UncleDuke1969 Catch a spark… Set the world on fire!
– Incinerational Tweet
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@UncleDuke1969 
@ChefRonSullivan House is a mess … Walked in the other day and there were 2 people on the couch blindfolded and filming a Fabreeze commercial
@English_Channel that’s it, I’m firing that gardener
@mrtruthandsoul Me: …
Dog: …
Me: …
Dog: …
Me: ..
Dog: ..
Me: …
Dog: ..
Me: ..
Dog: ..
Me: …
Dog: …
(Women, take note *ahem* Man’s best friend)
@TurboJellyBean Her:”my blinkers don’t work I think I’m out of blinker fluid”
Me:”your car doesn’t have blinker fluid.”
Her:”I JUST SAID THAT PAY ATTENTION”
@IamEnidColeslaw cats are the best because you can pet one while you’re talking to someone and look totally evil
@JennyJohnsonHi5 Today is Star Wars Day, which means we should all reflect on a simpler time in our lives, when Harrison Ford didn’t have an earring.
@RandiLawson Sometimes I wish I was a mermaid. Maybe then HR would stop hassling me for wearing a seashell bra on casual Fridays.
@Aspersioncast “This tofu tastes like chicken.”
No one believes you dude.
@Hect0rMayorga 1st girl @ the moon:
– Houston, we have a problem
– What happened?
– Nothing, doesn’t matter
– Come on
– Nothing..
– Tell me
– U should know