I can still remember the words my father said to me on my wedding night “let’s hope this ones not a whore like the last one!”
I always sleep naked. I don’t care if it makes people uncomfortable, they can just switch buses.
You Might Also Like
Brain: he must study-how?
*Hormones raise hand*
H: we could hit him with pimples, kill the social life?
It’s for his own good.
Stop earbuds from tangling by putting them on then carefully stapling them to your body.
Who’s ready for music?
You have tetanus
how do I explain to my gen x parents that the news is something you sit down and watch for 30 minutes and not insidious background noise for the entire day
This is one heck of a thing to drop on me at 3:30 AM, Google.
Quite possibly the best sign I have seen before the day ends 😂
I was told that exercise helps with your decision making.
After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
i really liked this one
Moist people aren’t offended by the occasional typo.
When your great-grandchildren call you racist for thinking all monkeys look the same.