I believe in you. I also believe in dragons, so don’t get too excited.
You Might Also Like
Fight
Him: we’re being attacked by a UFO
Me: are they human?
Him: no they’re-
Me [clenches fist]: then they are dancer
[Swedish massage]
masseuse: *smashes meatballs into my back*
Friends: Come get a drink with us after work?
Me: Nah, I gave up drinking for my New Year’s Resolution.
Friends: C’mon, just have one….
Me: Ok, maybe just one.
[ three hours later at the club ]
Me:
If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, let me sit for 15-30 secs, plug me back in and see if that works.
“There’s an all you can eat–”
CUT TO:
My spinning empty office chair
@funTweeters OH MY GOODNESS!! THANKYOU SO MUCH!! I JUST STALKED YOUR SITE!! LOVE IT. AM HONORED!! <3
Sounds like thunder outside, but it’s 2020, might be King Kong for all I know.
I’ve started an all male cow gang.
Because in life, anything is posse bull !!
I was actually unaware there is a global crisis occurring, I’ve been in quarantine the last two weeks because of an unfortunate haircut