@marcusthetoken
@FierceMess Sleep deprivation- because sometimes you cant afford drugs or alcohol but still want to feel delusional and irrational.
You Might Also Like
@FierceMess 
@Nickadoo The fact that Mitt Romney opted to see Twilight instead of Lincoln this weekend probably sums up what his presidency would’ve been like.
@mazizkhalifa I accidentally took a woman’s multi-vitamin this morning. I have been trying to get dressed now for 2 hours but everything makes me look fat
@KevinFarzad A lot of people wonder if u have to choose between a creative career and making money, and I just wanna say stick with it long enough & you can have neither 🙏
@iamspacegirl incredibly disappointed to discover that these are two separate programs
@OyVeyLady “You can eat your eyeball after you clean your room.” Me, still parenting with Halloween candy.
@Cheeseboy22 Just found a hilarious message in a bottle on the beach. I decided it needed to be RT’d, so I threw it back in.
@KayRants Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I’m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild.
@SaraESpivey I hate when snakes disguise themselves as people.
@YesitsAl Wife thinks I was present for every conversation she’s had with anyone, ever, and assumes I know what the hell she’s talking about right now