I don’t have Covid, but when my doctor did the test, she asked, “do you want to do this the hard way or the easy way?” Who would choose the hard way?!
You Might Also Like
Livid.
Quick, is ANYONE on this plane a singer?
BUFFALO: I was only a kid. I showed Dad my report card. He smiled, hugged me and said ‘good bison’. I never saw him agai…oh, ok I see now
That’s weird, my waitress stopped flirting after I paid the bill…
When Plan ‘A’ and Plan ‘B’ don’t work..
Plan ‘Shaggy’:
Say it wasn’t you.
I’m fine with you not liking my tweets, as I’m adult enough to deal with it. Also, your moms a whore.
Sexting is like reading a porn novel written by two lonely people who failed English in high school.
Sometimes you just have to throw away a few sheets of perfectly good printer paper so it can hide all the candy wrappers in your trash can.
3: Who’s that on your shirt?
Me: Yoda, from Star Wars.
3: I don’t like him.
Me: YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ve just been wearing a towel for 5 days so everyone thinks I showered.