Laundry is racist!!
Must separate the whites from the colors!!
No delicates allowed?
Oh, whites get HOT water, everyone else gets cold!
I don’t use commas in my tweets I am a rebel without a pause
You Might Also Like
Moist people aren’t offended by the occasional typo.
Eww. RTing her is like giving your TL an STD
I don’t friend zone people I relationship zone them. You want to be my friend? Too bad, we’re dating.
Her: How does she always know we’re taking her to the vet?
Him: I don’t know. Keep looking.
A national monument to those brave online heroes who were “First!” in comments.
I have nothing positive to report.
Except that roadside drug test.
My dog’s frightened to walk across shiny floors and won’t eat dog food unless I heat it up. I have a feeling he’d be a flop out in nature.
I forgot my cell phone at home and had to write my grocery list on paper. I shopped with it in my hand like some kind of a carrier pigeon.
My cat just showed it’s holiday spirit by pooping tinsel.