@enigmaterics I can confirm that men and women may disagree on when advice is helpful.
In related news, it is warm enough to sleep outside.
@TheBoydP I enjoy learning about the world by watching the Olympics. So far I’ve learned that Canada ISN’T the only country that participates in curling.
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@enigmaterics 
@IamEnidColeslaw if I get married all my bridesmaids are going to be bats
@RiotGrlErin wish i loved anything as much as my hoodie sleeve loves water.
@TheDeadfishSays I sit in the corner eating my tortillas completely confused by this salsa class.
@LackOfShame I’m “had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn’t pick up and start dialing” years old.
@UncleDuke1969 *wakes up at the crack of Dawn*
*instantly regrets drunk dialing Dawn last night*
@goldengateblond PROPOSAL: Rebrand shootings as “late-term abortion.” Watch the GOP scramble to stop them.
@DartsBofficial If Google can’t find the answer, it’s not a question.
@notmythirdrodeo 5: mom! daddy is smoking a brisket in the kitchen!
me: daddy smokes meats outside in the smoker. If he’s in the kitchen, he’s burning a brisket
@TheHyyyype CONDUCTOR: all aboard!
ME: i’m pretty bored
CONDUCTOR: no, i meant everyone on the train
ME: oh, i’m sure they’re bored too