Me: so I’m delusional?
Me: and you’re a delusion?
Me: I want a second opinion.
Pink Dragon: you’re delusional.
I feel so alive when I watch an object fall and shatter into hundreds of pieces. Not alive enough to clean up the mess though.
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billy joel: we didn’t start the fire
detective: I haven’t mentioned a fire
billy joel: shit
M: “I’m freezing.”
H: *rolls over, adjusts pillows and blankets, wraps around me*
[1 min later]
M: “I’m hot, get off me.”
Cleanliness is next to godliness in a dictionary missing some stuff
*boss stops meeting*
Mike, is there something you’ld like to share with the whole group?
Me: Nooooo, that’s why I whispered it to Alan.
Had sex with a condom tonight.
Maybe next time it will be with a girl.
When I was little I asked God for a bike. He didn’t deliver so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness instead.
Gecko at McDonald’s crawl through:
I’ll have A Bug Mac, flies & a small snake.
ME: If home is where the heart is, I guess I live under a canopy of bloody bones.
DMV WORKER: I’m not putting that on your license.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Meet me in bed
To learn something new
Pfff….poetry is easy