I feel so envious when I see young mothers pushing their babies in strollers. I want my OWN…..my own stroller & someone to push me.

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I freak out when i don’t see the L and R marks on headphones. There’s no way I’m taking that risk.


My Rice Krispies were speaking in tongues this morning, so I’m pretty sure the end days are near.


*brings bucket of fried chicken in meeting*
*meeting starts*
*I eat each piece, crunching, licking my fingers*
*touches all the paper work*


Sorry I commented “yikes” on that pic of your baby you posted on facebook.


Being iced in for 2 days gave me the opportunity to get so much housework done!

I didn’t do any of it.
But I certainly had the opportunity.


(tickling you a little) add me to your cell phone plan dude cmon


Oh really, Carol? It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown? How many muscles does it take you to mind your own business


I was cleaning one of my finger guns and accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.


My 7yo learned that a seal in French is a “phoque” and like every Canadian child before her, she is enjoying this sweet swear loophole to its fullest