@Bownuggets *slams table
WHY DID VILLAINS FROM SCOOBY-DOO ASSUME THEY’D GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING IF NOT FOR MEDDLING KIDS THEY GOT CAUGHT BY A STONED DOG
@Schroofles I hate babies when they are crying. I hate people who love babies & think babies are cute. I hate grown up babies who make more babies.
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@Bownuggets 
@carlyken When it comes to politics I’m an agnostic. I don’t believe there’s an honest politician nor can I prove that one does not exist.
@slimmy_shady How to lose an argument with an idiot – 1 Argue.
@wednesday0525 I just stopped by to water my horse.
@bencoffeehall Ooh. Remove card RAPIDLY, not RABIDLY. I think I owe the lady at pump 2 an apology.
@BlindChow No One Puts Baby in the Corner: A Feng Shui Guide to Nurseries
@Author_jo_jo Writing without pants on is a simple pleasure.
Shame I can’t go back to Starbucks though.
@PaulyPeligroso My mind’s telling me “No!” But my body, my body’s telling me “There’s that chicken salad in the fridge.”
@Cornjerker78 Me: You ate radishes.
Friend: How can you tell?
Me: You’re burping them.
F: They were really good radishes.
Me: Not from where I’m standing.
@AllenaC Please don’t block me. 🤣🤣🤣
