WHY DID VILLAINS FROM SCOOBY-DOO ASSUME THEY’D GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING IF NOT FOR MEDDLING KIDS THEY GOT CAUGHT BY A STONED DOG
I hate babies when they are crying. I hate people who love babies & think babies are cute. I hate grown up babies who make more babies.
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When it comes to politics I’m an agnostic. I don’t believe there’s an honest politician nor can I prove that one does not exist.
How to lose an argument with an idiot – 1 Argue.
I just stopped by to water my horse.
Ooh. Remove card RAPIDLY, not RABIDLY. I think I owe the lady at pump 2 an apology.
No One Puts Baby in the Corner: A Feng Shui Guide to Nurseries
Writing without pants on is a simple pleasure.
Shame I can’t go back to Starbucks though.
My mind’s telling me “No!” But my body, my body’s telling me “There’s that chicken salad in the fridge.”
Me: You ate radishes.
Friend: How can you tell?
Me: You’re burping them.
F: They were really good radishes.
Me: Not from where I’m standing.
Please don’t block me. 🤣🤣🤣