“It’s Your Birthday” Mateo Said. I Didn’t Respond. “Are You Not Excited To Be 15” He Asked. Reading My Book I Uttered “I Turned 15 Long Ago”
I hate cars with no Tint get me outta this water bottle 😡😡
You Might Also Like
Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my girlfriend to cook at their concert
Clean tweeting is liberating. You don’t need profanity to make a point. Look:
Tell her she has beautiful eyes. Female dogs love that poopy.
date: I don’t drink
me: she said she doesn’t drink pal
Sorry I was staring at your nachos while you were talking about your painful divorce
I stopped going to the beach because people kept mistaking me for a corpse and poking me with sticks
hey people that post selfies on Instagram and caption it ‘No Filter’, go with a filter next time. serious
HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA ARE HIDING BEHIND THE CORNER. THEY ARE GOING TO JUMP OUT AND TAKE YOUR PHONE, WALLET AND PURSE.
Our guide called the bear tracks I found bike tracks. Laugh it up pal, but if these bears are on bikes we’re all going to die out here.
Woke up last night and the ghost of Gloria Gaynor was standing over my bed. At first I was afraid, i was petrified.