@Boleyngirly
@DALIA How many coffees before I stop looking for shirts in my refrigerator
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@DALIA 
@Burger_Time_ ppl always judge adam & eve for listening to the talking serpent but u never hear a single person say anything about dr doolittle
@Pumpkinbabypie No, of course I’m not mad.
It’s fine.
*goes home, starts building a Death Star.
@GrowlyGrego What idiot called it endangered ocean population instead of deficiency?
@OneLastStranger Brains are awesome… I wish everyone had one.
@chimneyspotter WAITER: How is everything?
ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning
W: I meant your meal
M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt
@twowitwowoo There are two good reasons never to drink water from the toilet. No 1 and No 2s!
@noog 80’s rap was like being in 5th grade and trying to find words that rhymed with “hat.”
@lejessica They say treat others how you would like to be treated.
Now I have to go out on a date with a guy and treat him like a princess.
@devonellis_ If Pringles really wanted the fun to never stop they’d make those tube things like 5 feet long.