Where do I see myself in 5 years? May 2019. Next question.
I just owned you for three seconds. Possibly five if you’re a slow reader. Up to ten if you read this again.
You Might Also Like
Adulthood is like the part in The Wizard of Oz where Dorothy tries to runaway from her problems, but then SURPRISE, there is also a tornado.
When my husband goes outside to investigate a strange noise, how long do I have to wait before un-pausing the show we were watching?
When improv teams ask for suggestions, I like to yell “Learn a trade before your father cuts you off financially!”
Me: *pooping with the door open*
Olive Garden Mgr: “I know what the slogan says ma’am, we aren’t THAT kind of family.”
Mom 1: My son loves gluten free chips.
Mom 2: Asher eats everything organic.
Me: My son had a chocolate donut and a booger for breakfast.
I saved a ton of money on cool sports cars, vacation getaways and NFL season tickets by having children.
Life can be compared to a ‘Choose your own adventure’ book.
Sometimes there’s a happy ending; sometimes you get eaten by a bear.
If a little light yodeling doesn’t solve all your problems, then I don’t know what to tell yoooo-dooleeOoou.
Sure visiting family can be hard but it’s also the most efficient way to explain to your partner why you are the way you are