
This is your brain-
*holds out egg*This is your brain on drugs-
*puts egg on ground, spins it while shining lazers on it*
I like to put my passengers as ease by pointing out where all the airbags are. Ending the safety message with “Just in case I crash again”
This is your brain-
*holds out egg*This is your brain on drugs-
*puts egg on ground, spins it while shining lazers on it*
can you read it!!??
maan!
6 year old: Mommy, take a picture of me and post it on Amazon.
Don’t tempt me kid.
*feels comfortable*
comfortable: *slaps hand away*
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Who threw that? Gary, was that you? Don’t act innocent, I know you download music illegally.
I like to write “made you look” on folded pieces of paper and place them under car windshield wipers in parking lots.
Food just tastes better upside-down
1. upside-down cake
2. hamburgers
3. not cereal tho
4. oh no cereal is everywhere
5. why did I do this
No one lies to themself more than the person that says they’ll do the dishes after they “relax for a little bit”.
When I die, please bury me wrapped in a sheet. That way I won’t have to look for one when I become a ghost
FYI – so it IS illegal to put a skylight on the 5th floor of an 8th floor apartment building