@Alex_N_Chains Today on “Dora the Explorer”, Dora and Boots learn there are some places they can’t explore when Map leads them to an armed border patrol.
@VectorBelly I like when the ending credits show pictures from the episode I just watched. What a fun trip down memory lane.
You Might Also Like
@Alex_N_Chains 
@joejwest ME: [leaning over toilet] Hold back my hair
YOU: Ok
ME: [drinks from toilet like dog]
YOU: You’ve made your point I’ll wash up some glasses
@RahulReply going to office: late
.
going to a doctors appointment: late
.
going to a friends house: late
.
going to a concert: 8 hours early
@kwkorpi My dog just winked at me, and now I’m wondering just exactly what the two of us are keeping from the rest of the family.
@J0hnnyBlaze Girl: Hi
Guy: Hey
Girl brain: What did he mean? Is he in love with me? I need to analyze this for hours with my gfs
Guy brain: I’d do her
@deardilettante [ first date ]
Me. Do you take drugs?
Him. I never touch them.
Me. Perfect. Can I have a urine sample?
@stephenjmolloy Undertaker: “What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?”
Wife: “Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one.”
@jasomnambulism In Hell, you’re surrounded by people saying ‘suposably’ and ‘irregardless.’
@UtilityLimb some tweets get big favs but no RTs. why? [camera pans to dog in lab coat high up on a distant ledge. we’re too far away to hear his answer]
@IamEveryDayPpl In order to get my nephews up and ready for church in a timely manor, I told them we were going to Disneyland…
They’ll be SO surprised!