I stapled her tongue to the desk for humming Ke$ha all day and I really think the HR guy isn’t listening to my side of the story.
You Might Also Like
*puts PLEASE SPEAK AS LOUDLY AS POSSIBLE WHEN ORDERING sign on drive-thru*
*watches people scream into the box*
That’ll teach them to get my order wrong.
People with good posture are so reckless. Why are you sticking your head into the sky with all the crows and frisbees? Come back down here where it’s safe.
Vanilla Ice: if there was a problem, yo I’ll solve it…
[Guy from back of concert]: why did my dad leave?
If u rob a container store does that count as organized crime?
A car says a lot about the owner. I have a KIA which tells people I have bad credit.
I won’t be satisfied until I have enough followers to form sects that fight about how to interpret My tweets until they kill each other.
What psycho decided it was a good idea for kids to hunt for chocolate easter eggs right when the spring thaw reveals all the dog poop?
If you feel yourself getting bored because you’ve spent too much of your day in bed, just roll to the other side. It’s like a fresh start
I’m in a very dark place right now.
Suggestions on getting these motion sensing lights in the public bathroom to come back on…?
When I was a kid $100 was a lot of money. Just like it is now.