I think it’s unfair that when a human eats uncooked fish it’s “sushi,” but when a fish eats uncooked human, it’s “a shark attack.”

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Saw a bumper sticker that said ‘Jesus is the answer.’ Two cars later I saw one that said ‘Who farted?’ Best game of Highway Jeopardy ever.


Okay, you got me, I’m not really a gynecologist. What gave it away? Was it the tongue thing?


Message to my Haters: i hope you wake up nineteen minutes before your alarm goes off tomorrow


Jesus saves. Often. Because even he knows Microsoft Word is a piece of shit.


She said that having a successful marriage is all about making sacrifices so I threw her into a volcano.



1. End
2. Of
3. Year
4. Top
5. Ten
6. Lists
7. Are
8. Exercises
9. In
10. Stupidity


If diet and exercise are not working for you, try actually dieting and actually exercising.


My son curses like I make love. He has no idea how to do it and someone usually yells at him and tells him to stop before he’s finished.