I tried a non-alcoholic beer last night and I think I have discovered what my favorite ingredient in beer is.

You Might Also Like


I don’t care what bathroom you identify with. If you look under the stall you’re going to need a dentist.


I’ve lost my voice, and I’ve gotta say, everyone at work seems pretty damn happy about it


$500,000 to have my head cryogenically preserved or $1.59 for a Slurpee to give me a brain freeze?


Hey girl, did it hurt? Did it hurt when you had to use your fingernails to rip through the dense layers of sediment on your way up from Hell


My sense of humor can best be described as “Are you okay? Did someone hit you in the head?”


I admire how much mileage The Cut gets out of people writing about when they sleep or are awake


Up to 300 serial killers are active every day but the good news is that some of us have been incapacitated by the internet.


Superman’s first day at the daily planet.

Boss: Since you’re new, you might need supervision.

Clark: I have that, superhearing too.