I walked into a gas station & a woman handed me a free slice of pizza

Either Iowa is the nicest state in America or I’ve just been poisoned

You Might Also Like


When I say “I’m going to bathroom brb”, my dogs hear “gather up, it’s showtime!”


Notice how women didn’t complain when they did an all-male version of Sex & The City called Entourage.


If the office coffee pot doesn’t have to work until it’s banged on the counter neither do I


“You are what you eat” I chant furiously, shoving another roach in my mouth. Mushroom clouds keep growing in the distance


There are few things more awkward on a blind date than looking up from your phone to realise she’s left.

She obviously wasn’t blind at all.


Who called it an organic buffet instead of a natural selection?


Well, at least my kids are finding new and exciting ways to make my two college degrees meaningless.


Girl: My dog bit my boyfriend.

Me: Your dog is a good judge of character.