@tayandmae
@WhatevaConc Not now ex-boyfriend. Someone favorited 2 of my tweets. I’m a huge deal around there now & you lost your chance. Just kidding. What time?
You Might Also Like
@WhatevaConc 
@KeetPotato [me and some other dude wearing the same shirt at a party]
me: “how did we both fit in this lmao”
@VerifiedDrunk Just saw my parents having sex. That’s the last time I go onto that website.
@AnkCoupleTO “Time is of the essence”
Twitter: Hahaha nope
@weedswildflowrs Apparently telling the kids that you’re not in the mood for their shit does not improve their behavior, but it does teach your toddler how to say shit.
@TheBoydP Well well well, if isn’t the girl who gave me cooties in third grade…
@BatBatshitcrazy Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, unless of course, they’re feeding you kale.
@DirtMcTurd When I meet someone new I shake their hand really fast and whisper “yes, please don’t stop” because people need to learn not to talk to me.
@Matt_The_1st Sorry I have been gone for the last two days, my son had a quick story to tell me
@abbycohenwl Thanks for the awesome options, autocorrect
