This sounds bad:
I won’t be gratified sexually until someone dumps one of those big Gatorade containers on me after.
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cool hat i found in the hospital bathroom for a cowboy like myself
Shamrocks are the most dishonest of all the rocks.
“why do women always take sooo long to put their makeup on?” because makeup is war paint for Being In Public, clearly
My friends are weird. They keep vegetables in their beer crisper. Freaks
this is the 3rd footless person hes killed sir
“i guess hes..”
please god n–
*cops taze him for 8 hours*
A few weeks ago I mentioned toilet paper in a tweet and got toilet paper in the mail. So, here goes: dragons.
I always carry a jar gripper with me in case I’m ever stranded on a deserted island with a jar of salsa. I also always carry a jar of salsa.
HOT SINGLES HAVE MIGRATED AWAY FROM YOUR AREA DUE TO CLIMATE CHANGE
Serial killers are updating their check list now for dumping bodies:
1) will this location be discovered by Pokémon players?
2) do I care?