Bit chilly again tonight.
“I’d hit that!” -Helpful blackjack dealer
You Might Also Like
U talkin 2 me?
*Likes your fan page* *Hides activity from timeline*
Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses.
Me: did I pass?
Driving instructor: *swimming away* no
What idiot called it “leaving right after sex” and not “nuts and bolts”?
My wife just put down a magazine & said “I have to stop reading this article because the author said she named her son Gideon.” ❤❤❤
Me: How much should I spend on an engagement ring?
Jeweler: 3 months salary on the stone.
Me: *Duct tapes pile of Fruity Pebbles together.
I let a girl go through my phone recently so a colonoscopy really doesn’t scare me anymore
no actually it’s called an “african-american” eye, bud. and i got it cause someone beat the crap out of me for being too politically correct