@bwebster76

I’d take Cap’n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren’t on his hat.

You Might Also Like

@Marlebean

Friend zone?!
I’ve been sister zoned! And if one more dude pats me on the head, I’m telling mom!!

@Fred_Delicious

Me – “did Benjamin Button’s pubes fall out or grow back inside his body?”
Doctor – “no I meant what seems to be the problem with you”

@BuckyIsotope

Did you know that if everyone in the U.S. donated just one pint of blood, we could pour it over the Statue of Liberty and be hella cool?

@pleatedjeans

Sad that Batman’s never seen a PG movie b/c he never had parental guidance

@scarfgoat

my 80yr/o grandma is on facebook & she is a living click-bait article, she didn’t even tell me what to do with it

@MadHatterMommy

“Don’t you dare call my lazy friend lazy”, my friend defending my honour

@edgarrants

When life hands you lemons, help me throw them at the kids on my lawn.

@kidnappedagain

Fight Club but it’s just 19 and 16 duking it out over who takes “their” car—the one neither of them paid for

@lazerdoov

Why is America trying to bomb the lady who lives in my iPhone she seems nice

@junejuly12

Nothing like suddenly seeing a spider on the ceiling to make you realize you don’t need a nap anyway.