@staufff

If I had a dollar for every time I think about you, I’d start thinking about you.

You Might Also Like

@DeadAcct8888888

I eat boiled eggs, cabbage, and baked beans before the in-laws visit. They never stay long.

@AnkCoupleTO

[she comes home with a doggy bag]

Her: Here, boy, I have a treat for you *sounds of the dog & I fighting to the death*

@daemonic3

Pizza Hut: May I take your order?

Me: Can you make a large pizza vegetarian?

Pizza Hut: Yes, but don’t ever call me vegetarian again.

@RachelNoise

Cool how most makeup tutorial videos are like: ok, first, start out already young and pretty with no makeup.

@jaketapper

I’m trying to envision something more fitting than this election actually ending in a Biden-Trump fist fight and i cannot

@lovemydogduck

I wonder how many calories you burn locking yourself out and having to climb in through a second story window.??