People in glasshouses shouldn’t throw surprise parties.
if we all just stop paying bills at the same time what they gon do
You Might Also Like
Look what the cat dragged in!
*freaks out remembering I don’t have a cat and house was built on top of a pet cemetery*
20 yr old mom: my child is my life I would give my own life for him
40 yr old mom: GET OFF THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW OR I WILL END YOU
Sorry, “hella” was an inappropriate word choice. I was trying to be cool. I’ll rephrase: Your son is totally missing.
Average person has sex 89 times a year.
These next two days are going to be wild
The best thing about Twitter is that I can reveal my deepest and darkest secrets and you dumbasses think I’m joking.
I like telling people to “grow up” because even if they hate me I can visit them ten years later and say “Took my advice I see”
I would like to be a zombie because when someone asked me if I had a boyfriend I could just eat them.
My week is basically:
Girl: My dog bit my boyfriend.
Me: Your dog is a good judge of character.