@OakHill_

If you are trading Cephalopods, it’s important that you exchange those that are of equal size and value.

You know….

Squid Pro Quo

You Might Also Like

@AimeeHelene1

At 36, I still have no idea what to do with my hands when I’m in front of a group of people.

*hands on hips*
*hands in air*
*does macarena*

@maebemarbles

*grandma climbs into time machine*
*shuts the door behind her*
MOM NANA IS STUCK IN THE GRANDFATHER CLOCK AGAIN

@joshcomers

“Where do you see yourself in 5 lives?” (Dalai Lama job interview)

@yoyoha

“I DON’T CARE IF YOU THINK IT SOUNDS GROSS THAT’S WHAT WE’RE CALLING IT” – Guy who named the sweater.

@TravLeBlanc

I predict that Obama’s next move is to threaten to hold his breath until Russia leaves the Crimea.

@quikkim

If I was named Edward Normus, I’d use my first name’s initial and my last name as much as I possibly could.

@E_lok44

Keep your friends’ cake
and your enemies’ cake.

@TheToddWilliams

Daddy, where do bananas come from?

Well son, when a manana and a womanana really love each other…