At 36, I still have no idea what to do with my hands when I’m in front of a group of people.
*hands on hips*
*hands in air*
If you are trading Cephalopods, it’s important that you exchange those that are of equal size and value.
Squid Pro Quo
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My rap name is “NO PLANZ.”
*grandma climbs into time machine*
*shuts the door behind her*
MOM NANA IS STUCK IN THE GRANDFATHER CLOCK AGAIN
“Where do you see yourself in 5 lives?” (Dalai Lama job interview)
“I DON’T CARE IF YOU THINK IT SOUNDS GROSS THAT’S WHAT WE’RE CALLING IT” – Guy who named the sweater.
I predict that Obama’s next move is to threaten to hold his breath until Russia leaves the Crimea.
If I was named Edward Normus, I’d use my first name’s initial and my last name as much as I possibly could.
Keep your friends’ cake
and your enemies’ cake.
Daddy, where do bananas come from?
Well son, when a manana and a womanana really love each other…
I am the boss of me. And my wife is my boss’s boss.