@AimeeHelene1 At 36, I still have no idea what to do with my hands when I’m in front of a group of people.
*hands on hips*
*hands in air*
*does macarena*
@OakHill_ If you are trading Cephalopods, it’s important that you exchange those that are of equal size and value.
You know….
Squid Pro Quo
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@AimeeHelene1 
@birbigs My rap name is “NO PLANZ.”
@maebemarbles *grandma climbs into time machine*
*shuts the door behind her*
MOM NANA IS STUCK IN THE GRANDFATHER CLOCK AGAIN
@joshcomers “Where do you see yourself in 5 lives?” (Dalai Lama job interview)
@yoyoha “I DON’T CARE IF YOU THINK IT SOUNDS GROSS THAT’S WHAT WE’RE CALLING IT” – Guy who named the sweater.
@TravLeBlanc I predict that Obama’s next move is to threaten to hold his breath until Russia leaves the Crimea.
@quikkim If I was named Edward Normus, I’d use my first name’s initial and my last name as much as I possibly could.
@E_lok44 Keep your friends’ cake
and your enemies’ cake.
@TheToddWilliams Daddy, where do bananas come from?
Well son, when a manana and a womanana really love each other…
@KentWGraham I am the boss of me. And my wife is my boss’s boss.