If you stare in a mirror long enough and start screaming, you’ll see angry faces of figures dressed in orange.

*only works at Home Depot

You Might Also Like


My wife: How does a summer road trip with the kids sound?

Me: Sounds like we had a good run.


I’d like to see the dollar store get a liquor license.


Supposed to leave for vacation in 5 minutes. Somehow, the clothes I need to pack that I threw in the washer an hour ago, aren’t ready.


Apparently it’s ‘inappropriate’ to show up at your therapist’s home to swim in her new pool even though your ‘boundary issues’ paid for it.


I read a description of my personality and it warned that I should be careful not to let myself fall into “hermit mode” and I’m like hermit mode sounds awesome how do I unlock hermit mode


How does my kids bathroom always look like a crime scene where someone was murdered with toothpaste


I’ve just had to reset my password to Delicate Luggage Handler as I was told it had to be case sensitive.


Birds are dinosaurs? No. I want dinosaurs here or I want them completely gone. I don’t need a bullshit imitation dinosaur to shit on my car.


“This was the only way I could speak with you in private. That human woman? She’s trying to kill you.”