Fun Fact: rock lobsters are easily identified by the tiny electric guitar they hold in their claws
If you tell me having a dog is the same as having a kid then I’m going to assume you yell at your dog to keep his pants on at Wal-Mart.
You Might Also Like
I’m glad humans don’t do the combo breed names like Labradoodle. I wouldn’t want to tell people I’m Germish.
I prefer sex with the lights off. It’s classier and doesn’t drain the car battery.
This kid at the Bar just told me Nickelback is a better band than Metallica….
Long story short….Send bail money…
My car broke down today. It confessed to a series of hit-and-run murders back in 2006.
Apparently it’s okay for the office to have “casual Friday’s,” but “nudist Tuesday’s” are frowned upon. How embarrassing for me.
I scream. You scream. We all scream. I’m not supposed to be at this slumber party.
SUSAN I DON’T HAVE A LOT OF MONEY FOR THIS WRITING BUT THIS IS HOW I WANTED TO PROPOSE; WILL YOU MAR
My kids decided to move a piece of furniture to a random spot, I wonder how much it will cost to fix whatever they’re covering up
Welcome to your 40s. Your expensive designer shoes are prescription.