If you think the world is getting more unsafe, violent and unpredictable, the 13th century would like a word with you.

You Might Also Like


There is no such thing as an antique car. An antique car is a horse.


BUSINESS SNAKE: [dictating a letter]
SECRETARY: [just hammering the S key]


Accurate description of my life right now. My fitness instructor asked me,what type of squat are you accustom to doing?
I said ‘diddly’


Nothing says “I m not interested” quite as loudly as showing up for a date


Me: Hello, my name is Vikki and I’m an alcoholic.
Operator: Ma’am, this is AAA.
Me: I know. I’m an alcoholic and now my car is in a ditch.


<gets pulled over>

Officer- What’s making all that noise in your trunk?

Me- My feelings. I’m trying to dispose of them properly.


5-year-old: What happens if the baby pees?

Pregnant wife: She won’t. She waits till she’s born

5: Right. Just like no one pees in the pool


Before I proposed to my GF I asked her father but he was already married.