If you want to suddenly be surrounded by small children & animals, crinkle a candy wrapper.
You Might Also Like
100% of all marriages end with an ‘s’
The real reason women will never be the ones to propose: As soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants.
“Please, do that thing again with your tongue…” – Me talking to my pet lizard:(
Are kids ever okay at all?😂
I’m too old to still be “getting too old for this.” I’ve arrived.
“There’s a sleeping person. Let’s go ask it questions.” – Children
Not sure if you’ll like golf? Walk on a treadmill for four hours under a sun lamp then throw away $75 when you’re done.
Oohh, you play bass, as in the guitar. I thought you played bass, like the fish. I would’ve paid to see that.
I can’t watch porn with a storyline cause I get too invested and end up worrying about the delivery man losing his job for taking so long 🙁