If by “junk in the trunk” you mean the untouched gym bag I store there, then yes, I most certainly have junk in my trunk.
I’m 100% sure Zebra’s didn’t earn those things.
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[flash mob in front of me & my girl]
[I join in then kneel down gasping]
“grab me a smoothie from Jamba Juice?”
Whoa there, pregnancy test. You just tell us yes or no and we’ll decide if it’s positive or negative.
We see you put egg roll from buffet in purse. Very bad woman.
I stopped putting coffee in my sugar, and it shows!!!
Went for a run last night and saw one of my neighbors already has his Christmas lights up
All I could think was, why the hell am I running rn?!
My stepson and his friend are driving around in my car. If he wrecks it, I have insurance. If he plays Nickelback in it, I’ll murder him.
I don’t understand why people get embarrassed buying condoms. It’s much more awkward trying to return them. “Uhm… she didn’t like me.”
I’m looking at the serving size of Laughing Cow cheese and I see why the cow is laughing.
How about a game where Mario gets a job and gets his coins like the rest of us.