@unbub_ Google would like to use your current location. Allow/Deny? Allow
*100 Google employees throw a party at my house*
@Jennifergr8 I’m beginning to think some of you are not your Avi’s, which makes me sad. I thought I had a unicorn and dinosaur friend.
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@unbub_ 
@CatWorkers #dalle2
@lazerdoov I bought “extra whitening” toothpaste and now my teeth are spending a year in Korea teaching English
@Shade510 Fitted sheet? You should see me try and fold a thong.
@Ideal_Victoria “It’s ok. This is normal for her.”
– How my friends explain me to others.
@abhorrent_wife Sometimes I’ll show my husband the chewed up food in my mouth just so he’s reminded of the delicacy and beauty of the flower he chose.
@KyleMcDowell86 “Is Phil coming tonight?”
“Phil Smith or Phil that has the eyesight of a bird?”
*suddenly a man runs face first into the sliding glass door*
@RobDenBleyker IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE, NOT CHRISTMAS STEVE!!
@imence2 Step 1:Make pillows with”Love” printed on them
Step 2:Become a lawyer
Step 3:Defend men who smother their GF with love
Step 4:Become rich
@JodingersCat I must have more than ten fingers because I broke like 17 nails today