@Jennifergr8

I’m beginning to think some of you are not your Avi’s, which makes me sad. I thought I had a unicorn and dinosaur friend.

You Might Also Like

@unbub_

Google would like to use your current location. Allow/Deny? Allow
*100 Google employees throw a party at my house*

@lazerdoov

I bought “extra whitening” toothpaste and now my teeth are spending a year in Korea teaching English

@Shade510

Fitted sheet? You should see me try and fold a thong.

@Ideal_Victoria

“It’s ok. This is normal for her.”

– How my friends explain me to others.

@abhorrent_wife

Sometimes I’ll show my husband the chewed up food in my mouth just so he’s reminded of the delicacy and beauty of the flower he chose.

@KyleMcDowell86

“Is Phil coming tonight?”
“Phil Smith or Phil that has the eyesight of a bird?”
*suddenly a man runs face first into the sliding glass door*

@imence2

Step 1:Make pillows with”Love” printed on them

Step 2:Become a lawyer

Step 3:Defend men who smother their GF with love

Step 4:Become rich

@JodingersCat

I must have more than ten fingers because I broke like 17 nails today