I’m full of shit, opinions and liquor. If that’s not a recipe for a twitter addiction, I don’t know what is.
![]()
You Might Also Like
You can make up any word you want in conversation and if you use it in a dilsationary way, people rarely question the meaning.
Prom tip: DON’T HAVE A BABY
Me, on the phone, in the middle of a story –
my dad: “All right, here’s your mother”
Cowboy: This town ain’t big enough for the both of us
ME: I’ll be staying indoors almost all the time
Cowboy: ok cool
I’m sorry that you invited me over to your apartment for dinner and I created a negative Yelp review about the experience
An octopus can get so stressed
out – it will actually eat itself.Octopuses call that “leg day.”
i’m a writer the way a potato is a battery
Björk is my favourite singer-songwriter/IKEA side table.
Every time my daughter drinks juice she says “cheers” so…. no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences.