@4SLars

I’m good in short bursts like grenades or gamma radiation.

You Might Also Like

@JermHimselfish

The eyes are the window to the soul which is why I’m throwing pebbles at your face.

@corpsecicada

Being the parent of a 7 yr old boy, I have washed many odd things when I forgot to check his pockets, but today wins: an entire potato.

@Tmoney68

If really good-looking people are “eye candy” I guess that puts me somewhere around the “eye broccoli” category.

@CulturedRuffian

*at the gym*

Trainor: Have a donut.

Me: Wow! Sure!

T: Here’s some pizza.

M: What kind of trainer are you?

T: I’m a Megan Trainor.

@mompsychologist

I’ve never been on Jeopardy, but I have put a 4yo to bed, so I know what it’s like to be asked about things you never even heard of.

@Mardigroan

“How is tofu made?”

Well, when an edamame loves an edadade very much….

@PeterMolydeux

You know, my dream for gaming is where in one game you’ll shoot someone and then during a game of say Fifa you’ll see their son crying

@STACEYNIGHTMARE

Got super excited about a 200 meter butterfly till someone explained it to me.